Wednesday 31 August 2016

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funny image jokes

Indian Aunties At Wedding Be Like-DC24

It Takes 5000 Horsepower-DC27

When Apple Releases A New Device-DC54

Our Language Is Sweetest-DC41

I Remember When My Mom Was Beating Up-DC22


Friend Points Gun At You-DC13

v






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Monday 29 August 2016

मर्द वही होता है जिसको दर्द नही होता

मर्द अगर औरत पर हाथ उठाए तो ज़ालिम, औरत से पिट जाये तो बुजदिलऔरत को किसी के साथ देख कर लड़े तो इर्शालू, अगर कुछ न कहे तो बेघैरत अगर घर से बहार रहे तो आवारा, घर में रहे तो नाकारा बचों को डांटे तो ज़ालिम, न डांटे तो लापरवाह हाय मर्द बेचारा जिसके जीवन मे सिर्फ दर्द ही दर्द है और उपरसे कहते है की मर्द वही होता है जिसको दर्द नही होता

लाशेँ बिछा देँगे.. लाशेँ!!

चूहों की गैंग तलवारें लेकर दौड़ रही थी.
....
शेर ने पूछा: क्या हुआ, तुम लोग इतने गुस्से में क्यों भाग रहे हो..?
....
चूहा: हाथी की बेटी को किसी ने प्रपोज किया है, और नाम हमारा आ रहा है..
लाशेँ बिछा देँगे.. लाशेँ!!

मेरा क्या भविष्य है

गावं में मेला लगा था.
एक मेंढक ज्योतिषी के पास हाथ दिखाने जा पहुंचा.
मेंढक: मेरा क्या भविष्य है?
ज्योतिषी: "एक सुन्दर कन्या तुम्हारे अंग-अंग को गौर से निहारती हुई जगह-जगह स्पर्श करेगी"
मेंढक: अरे वाह! कब? कहाँ?
ज्योतिषी: अगले हफ्ते कॉलेज की बायोलॉजी लैब में!!

कढ़ी चावल भोली मक्खी और संता!



संता कढ़ी चावल खा रहा था।
तभी एक मक्खी "कढ़ी "
पर आकर बैठ गई ।
...
संता : अरे कितनी भोली है तू !!
ये वो नहीं है जो तू समझ रही है !!
चल उड़ यहाँ से !

Friday 26 August 2016

लडकियों की 5 बातें कभी समझ नहीं आती..

Image result for girl jokes

लडकियों की 5 बातें कभी समझ नहीं आती..

1)तुम ना बहुत वो हो.

(पता नहीं वो से क्या मतलब है…?? बंदा सोच मैं पड़ जाता है.)

2)मुझे तुम से ये उम्मीद नहीं थी..

(तो फिर क्या उम्मीद थी)

3)तुम पहले जैसे नहीं रहे..

(तो फिर मैं पहले कैसा था ??)

4)सच बताना, मैं कैसी लग रही हूँ…

(सच बोल कर पिटना थोड़ी है)

5)मैं बहुत सेल्फिश हूँ..

(अब हाँ बोल दूं तो गई भैंस पानी में)……….





Ladkiyo ki 5 baatain kabhi samjh nahi aati..

1) Tum na bohat woh ho
(pata nahi woh se kya matlab hai.. ?? banda soch main per jaata hai)

2) Mujhe tum se ye umeed nahi thi..
(to phir kya umeed thi)

3) Tum pehle jaise nahi rahe.
(to phir main pehle kesa tha ??)

4) Sach batana, main kaisi lagrahi hun…
(sach Bol kar pitna thori hai)

5) Im very selfish na..
(ab haan bol doon to gayi bhens pani mein)
















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doctor jokes - English jokes

Image result for doctor joke




मरीज़:- डॉक्टर, कुझे एक सीरियस बीमारी है, मैं जो कुछ भी बोलता हूँ भूल जाता हूँ.

डॉक्टर:- आपको ये बिमारी कब से है?

मरीज़:- कौन सी बिमारी?



Mareez:-doctor ,mujhe ek serious bimari hai,main jo kuch bhi bolta hoon bhool jata hoon.

Doctor:-aapko ye bimaari kab se hai?
Mareez:-kaun si bimaari?





----------

When my three-year-old was told 
to pee in a cup at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With 
a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?




Three Dumb ER Stories You’re Allowed To Laugh At

“Patient in to ER at 0400 with no complaints: ‘I have been having chest pain for 4 months but I am not having chest pain now. The reason I’m here now is because I heard that 4am is the best time to come cause there are not that many people.’ ”

“Had a woman call 911 because she ‘had déjà vu in the shower and got nervous.’”

“Got a frantic call from a woman who claimed she had overdosed and needed help immediately. We arrive on scene, and she hands us an empty mint container, saying she took them all. That night she learned that you cannot overdose on mints.





----------------


Why You Should Make Love Once A Year


A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “Once a week?” A third of 
the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?”

One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked—this disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?”

The man yells, “Today’s the day!”



---------------- 

पति पर निबंध , Essay on Husband

Image result for husband jokes



पति एक घरेलू प्राणी है, यह सभी घरों में अनिवार्य रूप से पाया जाता है।
इस घरेलू प्राणी को पालने का पूरा अधिकार पत्नी नामक ओहदे से सम्मानित महिला को प्राप्त होता है।

* इसकी दो आंखें होती है, जिससे यह मूक रहकर मात्र देखता है।
* इसके दो कान होते है, जिससे पत्नी की डांट-फटकार सुनता है।
* इसका एक मुख होता है, जिसके खुलने पर पूर्णत: पाबंदी होती है।
* इसकी इकलौती कटी नाक में अदृश्य नकेल होती है।
* यह काफी कुछ मनुष्य से मिलता-जुलता प्राणी होता है।
* वैसे पति होने से पूर्व यह मनुष्य की श्रेणी में होता है।

पति के प्रकार :-
जोरू का गुलाम : यह प्रजाति हमारे देश में बहुतायत रूप से पाई जाती है। इस प्रजाति के पति टिकाऊ, मेहनती, सीधे व वफादार होते है। यह उम्दा नस्ल के होते है। डांट, मार, गालियां इन पर प्रभावहीन होती है। पालने के लिए यह पति सबसे अच्छे होते है।

जोरू का बादशाह : यह प्रजाति धीरे-धीरे लुप्त होती जा रही है। इसलिए सरकार जल्द ही इनके संरक्षण के लिए ‘बादशाह पति संरक्षण’ नामक अभियान चलाने जा रही है।













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Click Here!

न्यूड हो सड़क पर घूमी लड़की किसी को भी न लगी भनक

Publish Date:Wed, 18 Nov 2015 11:47 AM (IST) | Updated Date:Wed, 18 Nov 2015 11:53 AM (IST)

न्यूड हो सड़क पर घूमी लड़की किसी को भी न लगी भनक
कोई भी लड़की जब छोटे कपड़े पहनकर घर से बाहर निकले तो लोगों की निगाहे उसे घूरने लग जाती है। लेकिन हांगकांग में एक लड़की के न्यूड घूमने पर भी किसी ने उसकी तरफ देखा तक नही।
कोई भी लड़की जब छोटे कपड़े पहनकर घर से बाहर निकले तो लोगों की निगाहे उसे घूरने लग जाती है। लेकिन हांगकांग में एक लड़की के न्यूड घूमने पर भी किसी ने उसकी तरफ देखा तक नही।
जी हां, सोशल मीडिया पर वायरल हुई इस लड़की की वीडियो और पिक्चर देख लोग हैरान रह गए। दरअसल इस लड़की ने शरीर पर ऐसा पेंट करवाया जिसने सभी को धोखे में डाल दिया। दरअसल लड़की ने अपने निचले हिस्से पर डेनिम जींस का पेंट करवाया हुआ था, फोटो में देखकर लग रहा है कि लड़की ने स्किन टाइट जींस पहनी हुई है। हालांकि लड़की पूरी तरह न्यूड थी।
- See more at: http://www.jagran.com/news/oddnews-naked-girl-walks-around-hong-kong-with-no-pants-13177513.html?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=hindisoch&utm_campaign=content-marketing&utm_term=%E0%A4%90%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%80+%E0%A4%B9%E0%A4%BE%E0%A4%B2%E0%A4%A4+%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%87%E0%A4%82+%E0%A4%AF%E0%A5%87+%E0%A4%B2%E0%A5%9C%E0%A4%95%E0%A5%80+%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%9C%E0%A4%95%E0%A5%8B%E0%A4%82+%E0%A4%AA%E0%A4%B0+%E0%A4%98%E0%A5%82%E0%A4%AE%E0%A5%80+%E0%A4%94%E0%A4%B0+%E0%A4%95%E0%A4%BF%E0%A4%B8%E0%A5%80+%E0%A4%95%E0%A5%8B+%E0%A4%AD%E0%A5%80+%E0%A4%A8+%E0%A4%B2%E0%A4%97%E0%A5%80+%E0%A4%AD%E0%A4%A8%E0%A4%95#sthash.P6XBT6fE.dpuf

HOW TO STOP SHARING A FOLDER IN WINDOWS 7 AND WINDOWS VISTA

Windows allows you to share folders between users on your local area network, but there may come a time when you want to or need to stop sharing a folder. Setting up a folder to share is a simple process and stopping it is even easier.
To share a folder in Windows 7 and Windows Vista, follow these steps:
  1. Right-click the folder you want to stop sharing.
    You have to see the folder icon, not be “in” the folder.
  2. Choose Properties from the shortcut menu.
    The shortcut menu has sharing commands. But that type of sharing refers to sharing the folder between users on the same computer, not on the network.
  3. Click the Sharing tab in the folder’s Properties dialog box.
  4. Click the Advanced Sharing button.
  5. In Windows Vista, type the administrator’s password or click the Continue button.
    The Advanced Sharing dialog box appears.
    image0.jpg
  6. Remove the check mark by the option Share This Folder.
  7. Click OK to close the Advanced Sharing dialog box, and then click the Close button to discharge the folder’s Properties dialog box.
  8. -------------------
If someone else on the network is using the shared folder as you unshare it, you see a warning dialog box. Always try to ensure that the other user is done sharing before you cut them off; if that person is changing a file, then by halting sharing, you could damage the file.
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Source

न्यूड हो सड़क पर घूमी लड़की किसी को भी न लगी भनक



कोई भी लड़की जब छोटे कपड़े पहनकर घर से बाहर निकले तो लोगों की निगाहे उसे घूरने लग जाती है। लेकिन हांगकांग में एक लड़की के न्यूड घूमने पर भी किसी ने उसकी तरफ देखा तक नही।

जी हां, सोशल मीडिया पर वायरल हुई इस लड़की की वीडियो और पिक्चर देख लोग हैरान रह गए। दरअसल इस लड़की ने शरीर पर ऐसा पेंट करवाया जिसने सभी को धोखे में डाल दिया। दरअसल लड़की ने अपने निचले हिस्से पर डेनिम जींस का पेंट करवाया हुआ था, फोटो में देखकर लग रहा है कि लड़की ने स्किन टाइट जींस पहनी हुई है। हालांकि लड़की पूरी तरह न्यूड थी।

Source

Monday 22 August 2016

hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes




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Wednesday 17 August 2016

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hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest Boy Girl Jokes,Solid Bheja Fry Funny Hindi Jokes, Jokes in Hindi, Student Teacher Joke In Hindi, santa banta jokes, santa banta funny jokes, Latest Hindi Double mean Jokes for Whatsapp, hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, attitude jokes, attitude whatsapp status, funny romantic shayari sms pic, unny photos for facebook in hindi Funny And Amazing Pictures on Funny Pictures Jokes In Hindi For Facebook, FUNNY QUOTES FOR FB IN HINDI on Funny Images With Hindi Quotes For Facebook, Funny hindi jokes,Funny Jokes Quotes,Funny pictures quotes,funny hindi jokes,funny food,funny happy birthday,christmas funny facts,christmas wishes greetings,christmas wishes messages,christmas picture pose ideas,christmas theme,christmas tree picture,2010, Crazy Funny Pictures Jokes In Hindi, Funny Mobile SMS Jokes in Hindi Pictures, best hindi jokes hindi jokes pics latest hindi jokes marwadi jokes hindi pathan jokes hindi, funny hindi picture jokes facebook wallpaper, Funny Mobile SMS Jokes in Hindi Picture, Here very Funny Winter Jokes in hindi. Get here Populer and Latest Thand Jokes in hindi font. Share on WhatsApp and Facebook and other. bas ek jara sath ho tera, Sun raha hai naa tu, Ashiq

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Thursday 4 August 2016

Hindi Jokes, Hindi comics jokes













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