Thursday, 23 February 2017

Beautiful Ladies aroung the world

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hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest jokes - सेल्समेन

Image result for hot girl 
आपको ये पसंद आएगा...!
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भारत के एक बड़े आफिसर ने जॉब छोड़कर कनाडा के एक विश्व के सबसे बड़े डिपार्टमेंटल स्टोर में सेल्समेन की नौकरी ज्वाइन की...!
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बॉस ने पूछा: तुम्हे कुछ तज़ुर्बा है...? 
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भारतीय: हाँ में भारत में सेल्समेन ही था...! 
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उसे नौकरी पर रखने के बाद शाम के 6 बजे बॉस ने पूछा: आज पहले दिन तुमने कितने सेल किये...? 
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भारतीय ने कहा कि सर मैंने 1 सेल किया...!
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बॉस चौंककर बोले: क्या मात्र एक ही सेल...? सामान्यत: यहाँ कार्य करने वाले हर सेल्समेन 20 से 30 सेल रोज़ाना करते हैं। अच्छा ये बताओं तुमने कितने पाउंड्स का सेल किया...?
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भारतीय बोला: 933005 पाउंड्स। 
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बॉस: क्या...? लेकिन तुमने यह कैसे किया...? आश्चर्यजनक रूप से बॉस ने पूछा...!
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भारतीय ने कहा: एक व्यक्ति आया और मेने उसे एक छोटा मछली पकड़ने का हुक बेचा, फिर एक मझोला और फिर अंततः एक बड़ा हुक बेचा...! फिर उसे मेने एक बड़ी फिशिंग रॉड और कुछ फिशिंग गियर बेचे...! फिर मेने उससे पूछा कि तुम कहाँ मछली पकड़ोगे तो उसने कहा कि वह कोस्टल एरिया में पकड़ेगा...! तब मेने कहा कि इसके लिए एक नाव की ज़रूरत पड़ेगी...! अतः में उसे नीचे बोट डिपार्टमेंट में ले गया और उसे 20 फीट की डबल इंजन वाली स्कूनर बोट बेच दी...! जब उसने कहा कि यह बोट उसकी वोल्क्सवेगन में नहीं आएगी...! तब में उसे अपने ऑटो मोबाइल सेक्शन में ले गया और उसे बोट केरी करने के लिए नयी डीलक्स 4 × 4 ब्लेज़र बेचीं...! और जब मेने उसे पूछा कि तुम मछली पकड़ते वक़्त कहा रहोगे...? उसने कुछ प्लान नहीं किया था तो मैं उसे कैम्पिंग सेक्शन में ले गया और उसे six sleeper Camper Tent बेच दिया...! और तब उसने कहा कि उसने जब इतना सब कुछ ले ही लिया है तो 200 पाउण्ड की ग्रासरी और बियर के दो केस भी लेगा...?
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अब बॉस दो कदम पीछे हटा और बेहद ही भौचक्के अंदाज़ में पूछने लगा: तुमने इतना सब उस आदमी को बेच दिया जो केवल एक Fish Hook खरीदने आया था...?
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भारतीय: No Sir...! वह तो केवल सरदर्द दूर करने की एक टेबलेट लेने आया था...! मेने उसे समझाया कि मछली पकड़ना सरदर्द दूर करने का सबसे अच्छा उपाय है...!
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बॉस: तुमने इसके पहले भारत में कहा काम किया था...?
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भारतीय: जी मैं "भारतीय जीवन बीमा निगम" में सेल्समेन था...!
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बॉस: तुम मेरी कुर्सी पर बैठो...! में तुम्हारी पुरानी संस्था ( LIC ) ज्वाईन करने जा रहा हूँ...?

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Tuesday, 21 February 2017

Non veg jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest Jokes - A Pakistani Girlfriend



John Was A Little Disturbed.

He Confided In A Friend: “I Have A Pakistani Girlfriend, She Says She Will Blow Me.”

Now I Don’t Know Whether To Lower My Pants Or Call The Police….?”



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Traffic Department: “Donate Blood, But Not On The Roads.”

Forest Department: “Shoot The Bird, With A Camera, Not With A Gun.”

Petrol Pump: “No Smoking” ” Your Life May Be Worthless, But Our Petrol Is Costly.”

And Best Prize Winning Advertisement Slogan Of The Year Is

“Kya Ye Corruption Kuch Le De Ke Khatam Nahi Ho Sakta?”












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Monday, 20 February 2017

hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest - क्रोध के दो मिनट

क्रोध के दो मिनट :
एक युवक ने विवाह के दो साल बाद परदेश जाकर व्यापार करने की इच्छा पिता से कही- पिता ने स्वीकृति दे दी । वह अपनी गर्भवती पत्नी को माँ-बाप के जिम्मे सौंपकर व्यापार करने को चला गया।
परदेश में मेहनत से बहुत धन कमाया. 17 वर्ष धन कमाने में बीत गए तो सन्तुष्टि हुई और वापस घर लौटने की इच्छा हुई. पत्नी को पत्र लिखकर आने की सूचना दी और जहाज में बैठ गया।
उसे जहाज में एक व्यक्ति मिला जो दुखी मन से बैठा था, सेठ ने उसकी उदासी का कारण पूछा तो उसने बताया कि इस देश में ज्ञान की कोई कद्र नहीं है। मैं यहां ज्ञान के सूत्र बेचने आया था पर कोई लेने को तैयार नहीं है। सेठ ने सोचा इस देश में मैंने तो बहुत धन कमाया ।यह तो मेरी कर्मभूमि है । इसका मान रखना चाहिए।
उसने ज्ञान के सूत्र खरीदने की इच्छा जताई। उस व्यक्ति ने कहा- मेरे हर ज्ञान सूत्र की कीमत 500 स्वर्ण मुद्राएं है।
सेठ को सौदा महंगा तो लग रहा था लेकिन कर्मभूमि का मान रखने के लिए 500 मुद्राएं दे दीं। व्यक्ति ने ज्ञान का पहला सूत्र दिया- कोई भी कार्य करने से पहले दो मिनट रूककर सोच लेना ।सेठ ने सूत्र अपनी किताब में लिख लिया। कई दिनों की यात्रा के बाद रात्रि के समय अपने नगर को पहुंचा। उसने सोचा इतने सालों बाद घर लौटा हूँ क्यों न चुपके से बिना खबर दिए सीधे पत्नी के पास पहुँच कर उसे आश्चर्य उपहार दूं।
घर के द्वारपालों को मौन रहने का इशारा करके सीधे अपने पत्नी के कक्ष में गया तो वहां का नजारा देखकर उसके पांवों के नीचे की ज़मीन खिसक गई। पलंग पर उसकी पत्नी के पास एक युवक सोया हुआ था। अत्यंत क्रोध में सोचने लगा कि मैं परदेश में भी इसकी चिंता करता रहा और ये यहां अन्य पुरुष के साथ है। दोनों को जिन्दा नही छोड़ूंगा। क्रोध में तलवार निकाल ली, वार करने ही जा रहा था कि उतने में ही उसे 500 अशर्फियों से प्राप्त ज्ञान सूत्र याद आया- कोई भी कार्य करने से पहले दो मिनट सोच लेना। सोचने के लिए रूका, तलवार पीछे खींची तो एक बर्तन से टकरा गई।
बर्तन गिरा तो पत्नी की नींद खुल गई. जैसे ही उसकी नज़र अपने पति पर पड़ी वह ख़ुश हो गई और बोली- आपके बिना जीवन सूना -सूना था, इंतजार में इतने वर्ष कैसे निकाले यह मैं ही जानती हूँ ।
सेठ तो पलंग पर सोए पुरुष को देखकर कुपित था। पत्नी ने युवक को उठाने के लिए कहा- बेटा जाग, तेरे पिता आए हैं. युवक उठकर जैसे ही पिता को प्रणाम करने झुका माथे की पगड़ी गिर गई. उसके लम्बे बाल बिखर गए।
सेठ की पत्नी ने कहा- स्वामी ये आपकी बेटी है, पिता के बिना इसकी मान को कोई आँच न आए इसलिए मैंने इसे बचपन से ही पुत्र के समान ही पालन पोषण और संस्कार दिए हैं।
यह सुनकर सेठ की आँखों से आंसू बह निकले। पत्नी और बेटी को गले लगाकर सोचने लगा कि यदि आज मैंने उस ज्ञानसूत्र को नहीं अपनाया होता तो जल्दबाजी में कितना अनर्थ हो जाता। मेरे ही हाथों मेरा निर्दोष परिवार खत्म हो जाता।
ज्ञान का यह सूत्र उस दिन तो मुझे महंगा लग रहा था लेकिन ऐसे सूत्र के लिए तो 500 अशर्फियां बहुत कम हैं. ज्ञान अनमोल है।
इस कथा का सार यह है कि जीवन के दो मिनट जो दुःखों से बचाकर सुख की बरसात कर सकते हैं. वे क्रोध के दो मिनट ही हैं ।
क्रोधो हि शत्रु: प्रथमो नराणां,
देहस्थितो देहविनाशनाय।
यथास्थित: काष्ठगतो हि वह्नि:,
स एव वह्निदर्हते शरीरम्।।
अर्थात् __मनुष्यों के शरीर के विनाश के लिए सबसे पहला शत्रु शरीर में स्थित क्रोध है।जिस प्रकार लकड़ी के अंदर रहने वाली आग लकड़ी को ही जलाती है,वैसे ही शरीर में स्थित क्रोध शरीर को जलाता है।



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Sunday, 19 February 2017

hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest, जनसंख्या वृद्धि को रोकने के लिए चंदा

जनसंख्या वृद्धि को रोकने के लिए चंदा एक बेहतर विकल्प हो सकता है
पहली बार संतान पैदा होने पर चंदा 100 रू मात्र ।
दूसरी बार संतान पैदा होने पर चंदा 1000 रू मात्र।
तीसरी बार संतान पैदा करने पर चंदा 10000 रू मात्र।
चौथी बार संतान पैदा करने पर चंदा 100000 रू मात्र
इससे अधिक बार संतान पैदा करने पर प्रति बार 20000 जोड़े जायेंगे।
चंदे की रासि को आपके द्वारा चुने गये विकल्प पर लगा दिया 
जायेगा जो निम्नलिखित हैः- (1) वृक्षारोपण (2) क्रीड़ा भवन / सांप्रदाइक भवन
(3) सड़क निर्माण एवं पुल निर्माण
इसके अतिरिक्त चंदे की रासि अन्य स्थानों में भी लगाए जाने के विकल्प
(4) यतीमों / अनाथों का भरणपोषण (5) देश की रक्षा हेतु साजो- सामान
नोट चंदा न देने वालों को प्रथम बार संतान में 1 वर्ष की सजा द्वितीय बार में 2 वर्ष की सज़ा 
हर बार में 1 वर्ष की सज़ा बढ़ाया जीयेगा।किसी भी जाति यी धर्म की हो कोई छूट नही मिलेगा। चंदे की रासि राज्य अथवा केन्द्र सरकार के पास जमा हो ।
 








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Hindi Motivational story - भगवान से न जाने क्या मांग रहा था।

एक 5 - 6 साल का मासूम - सा बच्चा अपनी छोटी बहन को लेकर मंदिर के एक तरफ कोने में बैठा हाथ जोडकर भगवान से न जाने क्या मांग रहा था। कपड़े में मैल लगा हुआ था मगर निहायत साफ, उसके नन्हे - नन्हे से गाल आँसूओं से भीग चुके थे। बहुत लोग उसकी तरफ आकर्षित थे और वह बिल्कुल अनजान अपने भगवान से बातों में लगा हुआ था।
जैसे ही वह उठा एक अजनबी ने बढ़कर उसका नन्हा - सा हाथ पकड़ा और पूछा : - "क्या मांगा भगवान से"..
बच्चे ने कहा : - "मेरे पापा मर गए हैं उनके लिए स्वर्ग, मेरी माँ रोती रहती है उनके लिए सब्र, मेरी बहन मेरी माँ से कपडे सामान मांगती है उसके लिए पैसे"।
उस आदमी ने फिर पूछा - "तुम स्कूल जाते हो?" (अजनबी का सवाल स्वाभाविक - सा सवाल था।)
बच्चे ने कहा : - हाँ जाता हूँ।
उस आदमी ने फिर पूछा - किस क्लास में पढ़ते हो?
बच्चे ने कहा : - नहीं अंकल पढ़ने नहीं जाता, मां चने बना देती है वह स्कूल के बच्चों को बेचता हूँ। बहुत सारे बच्चे मुझसे चने खरीदते हैं, हमारा यही काम - धंधा है।
बच्चे का एक एक शब्द मेरी रूह में उतर रहा था ।
उस आदमी ने फिर पूछा - "तुम्हारा कोई रिश्तेदार है"
बच्चे ने कहा : - पता नहीं, माँ कहती है गरीब का कोई रिश्तेदार नहीं होता है। मेरी माँ झूठ नहीं बोलती, ... पर अंकल, मुझे लगता है मेरी माँ कभी कभी झूठ बोलती है, जब हम खाना खाते हैं हमें देखती रहती है... जब कहता हूँ - माँ तुम भी खाओ, तो कहती है मैने खा लिया था, उस समय लगता है झूठ बोलती है।
उस आदमी ने कहा - बेटा अगर तुम्हारे घर का खर्च मिल जाए तो पढाई करोगे ?
बच्चे ने कहा : - "बिल्कुलु नहीं"
उस आदमी ने फिर पूछा - "क्यों"
बच्चे ने कहा : - पढ़ाई करने वाले, गरीबों से नफरत करते हैं अंकल, हमें किसी पढ़े हुए ने कभी नहीं पूछा, बस पास से गुजर जाते हैं।
यह सुनकर अजनबी हैरान भी था और शर्मिंदा भी।
बच्चे ने कहा : - "हर दिन इस मंदिर में आता हूँ, कभी किसी ने नहीं पूछा - यहाँ सब आने वाले मेरे पिताजी को जानते थे - मगर हमें कोई नहीं जानता।
यह कहकर बच्चा जोर-जोर से रोने लगा और बोला - अंकल जब बाप मर जाता है तो सब अजनबी क्यों हो जाते हैं?
उस आदमी के पास इसका कोई जवाब नही था, उस बच्चे के सवाल का जवाब देना मुश्किल भी था। ऐसे कितने मासूम होंगे जो हसरतों से घायल हैं। बस एक कोशिश कीजिये और अपने आसपास ऐसे ज़रूरतमंद यतीमों, बेसहाराओ को ढूंढिये और उनकी मदद किजिए ..... मंदिर मे सीमेंट या अन्न की बोरी देने से पहले अपने आस - पास किसी गरीब को देख लेना शायद उसको आटे की बोरी की ज्यादा जरुरत हो।
इसे पढके यदि आपको लगे कि देश में मदद करने वालों कि ज्यादा जरूरत है तो सब काम छोडकर ये मेसेज कम से कम दो गुरुप मे जरुर डाल दीजिये। शायद किसी ग्रुप में कोई ऐसा देवता इन्सान मिल जाएँ जो ऐसे बच्चों का भगवान बन जाए।
क्या आपने कभी किसी गरीब बेसहारा की आँखों मे आँखें डालकर देखा है? यदि नहीं तो अब देखिये... आपको क्या महसूस होता है उसे समझिये। अब तक आपने बहुत से फोटो या विडियो भेजे होंगे लेकिन आज ये पोस्ट कम से कम एक या दो गुरुप मे जरुर डाले और यदि हो सके तो अपने सभी groups में भेजिये।
दोस्तों अक्सर ऐसे लोग आपने देखें होंगे जो कहते है कि - "हम 2 - 4 के बदलने से समाज नहीं बदलेगा"। दोस्तों यदि आपने ये सोचकर हार मान ली तो समाज कैसे बदलेगा। दोस्तों बिना कोशिश किए ही आपने निर्णय ले लिया. एक बार कोशिश तो करके देखिये। समाज जरुर बदलेगा सबसे पहले आप अपने आपको बदल लीजिये।
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Hindi Motivational story - पति शराबी था

वो अभी 16 की ही हुई थी कि उसकी शादी तय कर दी उससे 10 साल बड़े आदमी से 
उस लड़की के लिये शादी का मतलब नये कपड़े ओर गहने था, वो ये सोच के खुश थी की शादी के बाद नये कपड़े पहनने को मिलेंगे ओर वो गुलाबी सूट भी जिसके लिये वो कई बार मां से लड़ाई कर चुुकी थी पर मां ने उसकी शादी के लिये रख दिया था वो सूट संदूक में!
पर शादी ने खो दी थी उसकी चुलबुलहाट, छीन के उसकी मासूमी, दे दिये थे चेहरे पे अनगिनित निशान, गली में घूरने लगे थे हवसी भेडिये उसके सुडौल गात को क्योकि एक कहावत है "हीन की ब्याही , सबकी भौजाई" !
अत: पति शराबी था तो उसका ओढना पहनना भी खटकने लगा था लोगो कों !
अब उसको समझ आ गये थे शादी के सही मायने , दिन भर घूघंट में लट पट घर का सारा काम ,पशुओं का चारा, सास के ताने ओर शराबी पति की जिस्मानी भूख, अब यहीं तो शादी थी उसकी नजरों में !
अब वो बहुत समझदार हो गयी थी , सीख चुकी थी आँसूओं को छिपाना , दर्द को दबाना ओर उठा के रख दिया था संदूक में वो गुलाबी सूट जो उसपे खूब जचता था !!
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Hindi Story - मैं आपसे शादी करना चाहती हूँ

एक विदेशी महिला ने विवेकानंद से कहा - मैं आपसे शादी करना चाहती
हूँ"।
विवेकानंद ने पूछा- "क्यों देवी ? पर मैं तो ब्रह्मचारी
हूँ"।
महिला ने जवाब दिया -"क्योंकि मुझे आपके जैसा
ही एक पुत्र चाहिए, जो पूरी दुनिया में मेरा नाम रौशन करे और वो केवल आपसे शादी
करके ही मिल सकता है मुझे"।
विवेकानंद कहते हैं - "इसका और एक उपाय है"
विदेशी महिला पूछती है -"क्या"?
विवेकानंद ने मुस्कुराते हुए कहा -"आप मुझे ही अपना
पुत्र मान लीजिये और आप मेरी माँ बन जाइए ऐसे में आपको मेरे जैसा पुत्र भी मिल
जाएगा और मुझे अपना ब्रह्मचर्य भी नही तोड़ना
पड़ेगा"
महिला हतप्रभ होकर विवेकानंद को ताकने लगी
और रोने लग गयी,
ये होती है महान आत्माओ की विचार धारा ।
"पूरे समुंद्र का पानी भी एक जहाज को नहीं डुबा सकता, जब तक पानी को जहाज अन्दर न आने दे।
इसी तरह दुनिया का कोई भी नकारात्मक विचार आपको नीचे नहीं गिरा सकता, जब तक आप उसे अपने
अंदर आने की अनुमति न दें।"
"अंदाज़ कुछ अलग हैं मेरे सोचने का,,
सब को मंजिल का शौक है और मुझे रास्तों का...
ये दुनिया इसलिए बुरी नही के यहाँ बुरे लोग ज्यादा है।
बल्कि इसलिए बुरी है कि यहाँ अच्छे
लोग खामोश है..!!!
अच्छा लगा हो तो शेयर जरुर कीजिएगा.
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Hindi Story - ठाकुर श्री मदन मोहन जी और गूजरी का प्रेम

राधे राधे दोस्तों।जय श्री कृष्णा दोस्तों।🌹🌿🌹🌿🌹
🌼🌼🌼ठाकुर श्री मदन मोहन जी और गूजरी का प्रेम
एक गूजरी रोजाना मदन मोहन जी करौली वालो के मंदिर मे दूध देने आया करती थी। 
लोभवश वह दूध मे पानी मिलाया करती थी। किनतु मदन मोहन जी का उस गूजरी का आपस मे बडा प्रेम था।
एक दिन गूजरी ने दूध मे किसी बावडी का पानी मिलाया और भाग्यवश उसमे मछली आ गई। जब गुसॉई जी ने मछली देखी तो गूजरी को फटकार लगाते हुए दूध देने की सेवा से हटा दिया।
गूजरी ने दो दिन मदन मोहन जी के दर्शन वियोग मे कुछ नही खाया और रोते रही। तीसरे दिन सुबह मदन मोहन जी उसके घर पहुच कर दूध मांगते हुऐ कहने लगे मै यदि दूध पीयूँगा तो सिर्फ तुम्हारा लाया हुआ ही पीयूँगा और बात के बीच ही गुसॉई जी ने मदिंर मे उतथापन की घटीं बजा दी।
मदन मोहन जी भागने के उपक्रम मे अपना पीताबरं वही छोड कर गूजरी की ओढनी लपेट कर मंदिर मे खडे हो गये।
जब गुसॉई जी ने ठाकुर जी का दर्शन किया तो आनंद विभोर हो कर पूछने लगे की आप यह ओढनी़ किसकी ले आये है। तभी वह गूजरी भी ठाकुर जी का पीताबरं लिये मदिर मे पहुँच गई। अब गुसॉई जी को भक्त और भगवान की इस प्रेम लीला को समझने मे समय नही लगा। तभी ठाकुर जी ने गुसॉई जी को आदेश किया की यह गूजरी मुझे बहुत अधिक प्रिय है। यह रोज मेरे दर्शन को मंदिर मे आनी चाहिये तब से आज भी गूजरी की याद मे मदन मोहन जी को काली ओढनी धारण करवायी जाती है।
जय श्री कृष्ण
बोलिये वृन्दावन बिहारी लाल की जय।
जय जय श्री रा
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hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest - -Benchod, Pocket Mai Ek Bhi Rupya Nahi Hai Or



Aap Logo Ne Pada Ki Santa Ne Pappu Ko Paisi Dene Se Mana Kar Diya Thha

To Pappu Kuch Din Santa Se Naraj Raha

Par Ek Din Uska Popcorn Khane Ka Dil Kiya To Usne Fir Santa Se Paisi Mangne Ki Sochi

Pappu: “Daddy 5 Rs Ka Coin Hai Mene Popcorn Khane Hai”

Santa Lunch Kar Raha Thha Usne Socha Ki Chal 5 Rs Hi To Mang Raha Hai De Deta Hun

Santa: “Mere Hath Busy Hai Pant Ki Pocket Mein Se Nikal Le”

Pappu Ne Haath Dala To Pocket Fati Hui Thi Santa Ka Lund Haath Mai Aa Gaya.

Pappu Bola: “Daddy Pocket Mein Coin Nahi Hai”

Santa Ne Bola Dusre Wali Pocket Mein Hoga.

Pappu Ne Pocket Me Haath Dala Vo Bhi Fati Hui Thi Fir Se Lund Haath Mai Aa Gaya.

Pappu Gusse Se Chilaya: “Benchod, Pocket Mai Ek Bhi Rupya Nahi Hai Or Do Do Lund Le Ke Firta Hai.“













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hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, - Santa Ki Shadi

Santa Ki Badi Hi Mushkilo Ke Baad Shadi Hui,

Uske Bholepan Ki Vajah Se Koi Bhi Ladki Us Se Shadi Nahi Karti Thhi

Suhagrat Ko Kisi Vajah Se Mohalle Mein Light Nahi Thhi Aur Subha Tak Koi Ummed Nahi Thhi Light Aane Ki

Usne Apne Naukar Ko Bulaya Aur Bola: “Tum Lalten Pakdo Mein Biwi Ke Saath Sex Karunga”

Naukar Lalten Pakad Ke Side Mein Khada Ho Gaya Aur Santa Sex Karne Lag Gaya

Usne Biwi Se Pucha: “Maza Aa Raha Hai?”

Biwi: “Nahi”

Usne Phir Dobara New Style Mein Try Ki Aur Biwi Se Pucha

Santa: “Ab Maja Aaya?”

Biwi Udaas Mood Mein: “Bilkul Bhi Nahi Ji”

Santa Ne Kuch Der Socha Aur Naukar Ko Kaha

Santa: “Tu Ek Kaam Kar Lalten Mujhe De Aur Tu Sex Kar”

Naukar Ne Bed Pe Jump Lagayi Aur Biwi Ko Bukhe Kutte Ki Tarha Chodne Lag Gaya

Jab Usne Biwi Ko Tasalli Bitha Di To Santa Ne Biwi Se Pucha

Santa: “Ab Maja Aaya?”

Biwi Boli: “Haan Ji, Bahut Maja Aaya”

Santa Ne Naukar Ko Ek Jor Se Thappad Maara Aur Bola

Santa: “Bhonsdi Ke Tu Kisi Kaam Ka Nahi Hai, Ese Pakadte Hai Lalten“
 


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hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest - Blow Jobs And Hand Jobs

Alia Bhatt Not Only Known For Her Divine Beauty But Also For Her Poor General Knowledge, Here Again A Stupid Thought By Alia

Alia Bhatt Thinks
“Blow Jobs And Hand Jobs Are Children Of Steve Jobs.”
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Employers Are Truly Evil, Didn'T Agree? Just Read This Short Story Know It Yourself.
---

One Day, The HR Representative Comes To The Office And Calls Everyone Up To Him.
“Okay Guys, This Is A New Hr Practice.
Today We Are Going To Play A Game.
When I Say A Name Of The Fruit, You Run To The Right Side Of The Court.
And When I Say A Any Color, You Run To The Left Side Of The Court.
Anyone Who Get It’s Wrong Will Not Get The Increment. Got It?”
All The Employees Agree. The HR Lines Them Up Across The Court And Says,
HR: “Okay. Ready.  Set… Orange!”
Employees: “Motherfucker!”


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Kabira Khada Bazar Me , Dekh Oont (Camel) Ko Roye
Itni Unchi Gand Ko Maar Sake Na Koi.









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Saturday, 18 February 2017

hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest - 21 किलो लड्डू बाटूंगा

एक आदमी बोट से कही जा रहा था …
अचानक से ज़ोर से हवा चली और उसकी बोट पलट गयी .!
उसे तैरना नही आता था ..
वो प्रार्थना करने लगा 
“भगवन , अगर मुझे बचा लिया तो में गरीबो में 21 किलो लड्डू बाटूंगा .!”
फिर ज़ोर से हवा चली और एक बड़ी सी लेहरे उसे ज़मीं पे ले गयी .
वो खड़ा हुआ , और हस्ते हुए ऊपर देख के बोला ,
“हाहा, कैसे लड्डू , कौनसे लड्डू ..?” :-
फिर ज़ोर से हवा चली और एक बड़ी लहर ने उसे वापिस पानी में खीच लिया .
वो फिर चिल्ला के बोला ..
“मतलब मैं पूछ रहा था बेसन के या बूंदी के ..!
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hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest - लड़को का एक ग्रुप

कॉलेज के लड़को का एक ग्रुप
तीर्थ यात्रा पर गया ।😊

गाइड ने कहा , कल सबेरे जल्दी नहाकर
दर्शन को चलेंगे,
और
याद रहे , यह तीर्थ यात्रा धाम है ,
. 
इसलिये रास्ते मे आजू-बाजू ‪#‎लड़कियो‬
पर ध्यान मत देना वरना ‪#‎पाप‬ लगेगा ।😊😊

अगर गलती से दिख जाये तो
उसे नजरअंदाज करना और “‪#‎हरिओम‬”
बोलते हुए आगे बढते रहना…..!😜😜😜

दूसरे दिन जब वो दर्शन के लिए चले ,
तब थोडा ही चले थे ,
कि एक बोला ,
“हरि ओम”

बाकी सारे एक साथ बोले…
किधर है…? किधर है…?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
😛😅
गाइड – भागो सालो तुमलोग नही सुधरोगे....
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hindi jokes, comedy jokes, funny jokes, Funniest - समझदारी

😂😂
पति-पत्नी चाय की चुस्कियों के साथ अखबार पढ़ रहे थे।
पत्नी को एक चटपटी खबर दिखी तो उसने पति से कहा, ‘खबर छपी है कि एक 80 साल के कुंवारे बूढ़े ने शादी कर ली।'
पति ठंडी सांस भरते हुए बोला,....
‘बेचारे ने लगभग पूरी जिदंगी समझदारी दिखाई पर बुढ़ापे में बेवकूफी कर ही दी!'
😀😀😀😀😜
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