Friday, 15 July 2016

non veg jokes

Girl:-bra dikhao. salesmen:-36 chalegi? Girl:- choti do. salesmen:-32?
Girl:-aur choti. salesmen:-28?
Girl:-thodi aur. salesmen:-20?
Girl:-nahi todi aur. salesmen:- Madam BAND-AID laga lo, Pimple hua hoga.


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Teacher-"wats ur name"
Santa-"HOLA"
Teacher-"ye kya naam hua"
Santa-"mai HOLI k din paida hua tha"
Teacher-"thank god tum LOHDI k din paida nhi hue"
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1 baar chachi aur bhateja chat aur pani puri ka bussiness shuru karte hain- chaci said- hamara bussiness chalega kaise?
bhatija said- chachi hum advertisment denge "10 Rs. MEIN CHACHI KI CHAT LO"
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ek ladke ne mujhe hath laga kar kaha tumhari tangon ke beech me ye kya hai.
mein ne kaha ye lakir.
mein ne uski tangon ke beech mein hath laga kar kaha ye kya hai.
us ne kaha ye usi lakir ka faqeer hai.
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After 30 min of Sex with wife Sardar: r u satisfied?
Wife: No.
After 60 Min
Sardar: Now?
Wife: No
Sardar: why?
Wife: 1st remove my panty
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blood test k baad nurse ne sardar ki ungli chusi, sardar ji muskuraye, nurse ne pucha kya hua?
sardar- "iske baad urin test hai"



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Sx kar lene k baad boy "janeman ab tumhe wo hoga jise dunia bachcha kahti hai,
girl: meri ch~t k ashiq ma#a#rch#d ab tumhe wo hoga jise dunia aids kahti hai.

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Santa to Dr.- "Ga#d me dard hai"
Dr.- "mai hath ghusata hu batana dard kaha hai"
Santa- "andar aur andar aur andar aur haan yahi hai"
Dr.- "Bhosdi k gale me TONSIL hai"



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Patni (ghusse se)-mai ye ghar chod ke jaa rahi hu.Pati- jana hai to jaldi ja warna ga#d mar dunga. Patni- Bas apki yehi meethi baatein jane nahi deti.



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a sardar breaks an egg to make an omellette, he notices that the egg is empty,
sardar says "be#ch#d ab murge bhi condom use karne lag gaye"



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Badi murgi: Dekh Mere ande kitne bade Hai Rs. 2.25 Me bikte Hai Tere To Sirf 2/-Me jate Hai,
Choti Murgi:Rahne Do Chawanni k Liye koun ga#d fadega..




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SuperSex
Teacher: Girl se Condom ka full form batao?


Girl :
C : Control
O : On
N : Natural
D : Drops
O : Of
M : Man
DO BOOND ZINDAGI KI






SuperSex
Teacher: Girl se Condom ka full form batao?


Girl :
C : Control
O : On
N : Natural
D : Drops
O : Of
M : Man
DO BOOND ZINDAGI KI










Kabir ka doha: Chodan chodan sab kare chod saka nhi koy,
Jab chodan ki bari aa e land khra nhi hoy.
Gud nite










4 kutte 1 kuttiya ko Chood rehe the


AUNTY Pass se Nikli aur RO Padi Tab ek Bache ne Pucha,
KYA HUA?


Aunty:Kuch Nahi Beta COLLEGE K DIN YAAD Aa GAYE
Gud n8.






A Risky Questions:
.
Agar 1 taraf Sare khada ho,
Aur
doosri taraf,
mera khada ho,
to batao,
tum kis ki taraf jaoge?
Ab hanso mat, bolo,
Jaan Pyaari ya Gaand!






Suhagrat pe pati ne poori raat sirf boobs suck kiye
Subah ladke ki maa- beta uth ke naha dho lo
Ladki- sirf daantt brush krwa do baki sab saaf h :D








Wife Nayi Transparent BRA Lekar Pati Ke Saamne Pehenkar Khadi Ho Gayi..
Pati: Badi SEXY Lag Rahi Ho..mera khada kar diya.
Wife: Dukandar Bhi Yahi bol ra tha






NISHANT Ka LUND FACTURE Hone Pe Hospital Laya Gaya..
.


Dr- Ye Kaise Hua?
.
NISHANT- Me Uski ma chod Dunga Jisne Diwar Pe NANGI LADKI Ki Tasvir Chipkai thi.!










1Bacha roz school s bhag k
gand marwata tha.Is tarah usne bahut
paise kmaye.In paiso s usne Mobail khrida.
Vidhi ka vidhan dekho.aaj vo apni hi story padh rha ha






Only 2% students solved this in IAS exam.
5+3+2=151022
9+2+4=183652
8+6+3=482466
5+4+5=202541
then
7+2+5= _______?


Reply must & Prove You r genius....






For u I would climb, the highest mountain peak.
Swim the deepest ocean, your love is all I seek.
Id just do anything, to have u by my side.










LOVE: You should always love life,
for it is a part of you.
I'll always be there when you fall,
to catch you and say I love you!






Apne Aasuon Ko Itna Mehnga Kardo Ki
Koi Unhe Lene Ki Kosish Na Kare
Aur Apni Muskan Ko Itna Sasta Kardo Ki
Hr Koi Usko Pane Ki Chahat Kare






RaT Ki TanHai Me Agr Koi BaDaN
Ko Chu Le
HonTo Ko ChuM Le
Kano Me Aa K Kuch Kahe To
iShQ Samaj Kr RiSk MaT UtaO
ALL Out JaLao MaChar BhaGaO








Koi kehta h khushiyo s jindgi aasan ho jati h
.or gm se jindgi veeran ho jati h,pr gm to ek imtehaan hota h..
jisme apno or begano ki peh chaan hoti h..






Patni-Sunoji, Beta Bahut Paise Udane Laga He, Jaha B Chupati Hu dhundh Leta He
Pati-Nalayak Ki Book Me Rakh De, Exam Tak Nhi Dhundh Payega..








::1 baccha Apni Maa Se Pitne Ke Bad Ghar Ke Bahar Betha Tha ::
Papa: Kya Hua ::
Baccha: Tumari Beevi Ke Sath Ab Mera Gujara Nhi Ho Sakta Mjhe Meri Beevi chahie










Biwi KO Thpad marne Ke Bad pati Bola_
Admi use hi marta h. jise wo pyr krta h
Biwi NE B 2 Khich K mareOR Dhire
seBoli-ap kya samjte ho mai apse pyar nhi krti.






Full form of
"GIRL" :
G=Galti nikalne me sabse
aage,
I=Inocent sirf shkl se, R=Rone ki automtic machine,
L=Ldai m sbki nani,
fir b duniya inki diwani








1Ladki roz gali se guzra karti thi...
apne chehre ko naqab se dhak kar rakhti thi
1ladka uspe marta tha...
shayad wo use dil se pyar karta tha
1din ladki ne us ladke k padosi se pucha.
kaha gya wo aashiq ?
to usne bataya aapko aane me der ho gai
us diwane ki kal rat maut ho gayi
Padosi ne apna farz nibhaya
ladki ko qabr tak le aya
Ladki qabr par rone lagi
apne ansu se qabr ko dhone lagi
Qabr se aawaz aayi
"A KHUDA YE KESA INQALAB AYA Hai
AAJ ME PARDE ME HU OR MERA MEHBOOB BENAQAB AYA Hai...












Jaa rahe hum marne, aaj mann udaas hai..
Yaad nhi kiya usne jiski mujhe aas hai..
Mujhe bhool gaye wo jo sabse khaas hain..
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Chalo abmsg karo Kanjuson, upar likha sab Bakwaas hai.. %-) ;-)






Please comment...... Which type of sms u want i will update it...


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